a raging fight between Superman and Brainiac knocks down the United Nations
.when Batman's brought up on child endangerment charges
Woman misplaces her lasso at a jewelry show
when Lobo shows up on Earth and
does pretty much anything
you read about it in the "DCU DIGEST"!
50 cents December 1, 1998
Buenos Aires, Argentina -
A large number of the world's super-heroes, including the entire active roster of the Justice League of America, have gathered here to set up a command post for relief efforts related to the nuclear destruction of Montevideo, capital of neighboring Uruguay.
Montevideo was destroyed by the immortal super-villain Vandal Savage, who had purchased nuclear-powered Rocket Red technology from Russian black marketeers, according to super-hero spokesperson Roy Harper, also known as Arsenal. "Washington was his intended target," said Harper, who was spying on Savage as part of his efforts to re-form the Titans, the super-team he had belonged to as a youth. "The Hourman Virus made the missile's targeting sustems go haywire."
This may be the reason that the super-hero community has involved itself in the relief effort to a greater degree than has ever been seen since the devastation of Metropolis by Lex Luthor. Sources reveal that the Hourman Virus, which inflicted madness on people and computers worldwide, was brought to Earth by a time-traveling superhero called Hourman, apparently part of a Justice League in his own time. (His connection, if any, to the two known former heroes named Hourman is uncertain at this time.) Justice League spokesman Steel has denied that the heroes are acting out of guilt feelings, and has maintained that they are merely fulfilling their duties to use their abilities to help others.
Nonetheless, super-heroes were conspicuously absent around Hiroshima and Nagasaki, even after World War II had ended. More recently, they have also stood by following the destruction of Qurac by the Spectre. Although these might have been explained by the hostility these countries had toward primarily American super-heroes, evidence from past disasters suggests that the super-hero community at large
only responds to crises on a global scale, such as the threats of the Sun-Eater and the Dominator-Khund-Durlan invasion. Steel bristled at the suggestion that super-heroes are particularly guilty and offered the possibility that the lack of a well-organized and well-connected Justice League was responsible for past inaction, a situation he does not expect to re-occur.
Whatever the reason, few would dispute that the heroes are helping. Radiation-tolerant heroes such as Firestorm and Captain Atom have been instrumental in detoxifying the area and decontaminating the region's water supply. The Flash and the mysterious Oracle have already managed to restore tele-communications to 90 percent of the area cut off by the destruction of the Montevideo hub. And, of course, no one should underestimate the impact of Superman's personal appeals to Uruguayans to get involved in rebuilding their national government. The list of candidates to replace the many government officials who were killed by the bomb includes many idealists who explicitly credit Superman with inspiring them.
Uruguay has no native super-heroes, but Beatriz DaCosta, the Brazilian heroine Fire, has pledged all the proceeds of her 1999 swimsuit calendar to the survivors of those killed in the blast, and she and the former Argentine hero, the Gaucho, have planned a goodwill tour to raise awareness of and funds for the problems caused by it.
Both the Gaucho and Fire are former members of the Global Guardians, a group that also included the Venezuelan hero Bushmaster, now deceased. When asked to comment on the lack of super-heroes in South America, Owlwoman, the spokesperson for the Global Guardians, would only say that her team is aggressively recruiting all over the world. "If any superbeing from any continent is willing to step forward and join us, we will welcome them with open arms," she said.
New York, NY -
Jennie-Lynn Hayden, the model, actress, photographer and former super-heroine, announced in a press conference that she has temporarily taken over the role of Earth's Green Lantern. Justice League sources have confirmed that the most recently-known Green Lantern has taken a leave of absence for a mission in outer space. "We'll miss him," commented League spokesman Steel, "but at least he left behind an experienced replacement." It is not immediately apparent whether or not she will take his place in the League as well.
Former Jade becomes Green Lantern
First Earth Female to Take Name
Ms. Hayden is the daughter of the first Earthman to use the name Green Lantern and formerly used the superheroine alias Jade. While she has never used a ring before, she has had ample experience weilding green energy as a member of the Los Angeles-based superteam Infinity, Inc. However, she recently lost the ability to generate the energy from within herself. "Receiving the ring is like breathing air again after having been buried underground," she told reporters. "It's extremely difficult to get used to life without the power when you've lived with it for so long. I'm extremely grateful to Green Lantern for giving me this opportunity."
Ms. Hayden is believed to be the first Earthwoman to act as Green Lantern. In addition to her immediate predecessor, other Earth Lanterns were her father, Alan Scott, the late Hal Jordan, John Stewart, and Guy Gardner, who now goes by the name Warrior. Several alien females have operated on Earth as Green Lanterns, notably Stewart's late wife Katma Tui of Korugar and Arisia of Graxos.
Asked if she intended to continue in her entertainment career while acting as Green Lantern, she replied in the affirmative. "Your life doesn't stop when you become a super-hero. It just receives another added dimension. Remember, I've been super-hero already." She also indicated that her uniform would be the traditional one used by Hal Jordan, but that she would leave off the mask. "I don't need a mask, since my identity is public, and I have no intention of replicating the fashion disaster that my predecessor, despite all his good points, perpetrated. Lord." She did, however, decline to comment on rumors linking her romantically to the absent Lantern.
Alan Scott, who now calls himself Sentinel, says he is proud to see his daughter bear the name. However, he was quick to add that her selection was not a matter of nepotism. "Granted, she wouldn't have her powers if she weren't my daughter, but she has proven herself time and again. I have no doubt that she will be a credit to the family name for generations to come.
Strange Lecture Series to Resume
Cape Town, South Africa - Noted archaeologist Professor Adam Strange, who has not been seen on Earth for over four years, will once again be traveling the world, delivering lectures on deductive logic and analytical thinking. His popular lectures, based on what he claims are true adventures he had on the planet Rann, always end in a challenge for the audience to figure out the solution to the dilemma posed in the session. Americans will be disappointed, though, as he has only booked lectures in the Southern hemisphere, from where, he claims, his return trips to Rann pick him up. All proceeds from any South American lectures will be donated directly to the Uruguayan restoration fund which is maintained by the Justice League, whom he credits with his return to Earth after having stayed on Rann for years.
THE DAILY PLANET:
D.E.O. Director testifies in impeachment proceedings; claims microscopic operatives hidden in infamous hallway.
Mid-Eastern concern Saddam could get hands on metagene bomb material.
Battle of the Concept Clubs: "Warrior's," "Planet Krypton," & "Hard Rock Cafe" compete for prime tourist space in Metropolis & Star City.
Gotham Gladiators moving to Opal City?
Oliver Stone on his new film "Dominion": was the U.S. government in on the Dominator Invasion the whole time?
WEATHER: High today in 50's. Possibility of anti-matter storms toward early evening, esp. in south and west suburbs.
All characters are DC Comics.
All scanned artwork is DC Comics.
This column is © 1998 by Chaim M. Keller.