Too Many Long Boxes!

End of Summer
What Does Fanzig Mean?
by Erik Burnham
(intro by Michael Hutchison)

The meaning of the term "Fanzing" is, to me, the editor, obvious! It's a fanzine with "ZING!" I didn't invent the term; that honor falls to Marc Campbell, Fanzing's founder. However, not everyone appears to grasp this. It must seem no more than a nonsense word. How else to explain the number of people who can't get the name right?

Many call it "Fanzig"? What the heck's a Fanzig? I considered this to be just a typo, until even the Eagle Awards listed us as "Fanzig" on their ballots. At this point, I considered it a serious enough error to purchase the domain just in case someone typed it in wrong. And in April of 2000, I was delighted to see that the Minnesota Comic Book Association was kind enough to give us a large blurb in their advertising. Too bad it said "Michael Hutchinson's Fanzig", which not only takes the n out of Fanzing but then stuffs it into my last name. (I would not have been proprietary about it, had I written it, but I think they included my name because I'm local talent.)

Microcon Flier

What the heck is a "Fanzig"? Is there an actual something called a Fanzig? For the answer to this, we turn to Erik Burnham, who was kind enough to do a little research for us:

I looked Fanzig up. It's been a popular word for quite some time, as the research showed… and always almost in the limelight. The top 10 things Fanzig has meant:

10) An offshoot of this ubiquitous but unnamed cult that likes to walk sideways.
09) The original title to Michael Jackson's "Thriller."
08) A small, purplish vegetable grown in the back of a shanty in the middle of the Congo that - when eaten - forces you to speak ebonics.
07) Charles Foster Kane's pet gibbon.
06) Tax software for the homeless.
05) A popular, entertaining zine for those with speech impediments and stuffed up noses.
04) A type of dog specifically bred to fetch AAA batteries.
03) The third most popular soap opera in Guinea-Bissau.
02) The macguffin Spielberg and Lucas have been clashing over, the true reason for the holdup of Indiana Jones 4.

…And the number one thing Fanzig has meant:
01) The bubblegum pop outfit "Glen D" fronted before writing "Mother."

This list was pointless. You just may possibly be dumber for having read it. I apologize, on behalf of myself and former pop superstars Color Me Badd. -- Erik

This column is © 2000 by Erik Burnham (with Michael Hutchison)
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