Too Many Long Boxes!

End of Summer

by Ye Olde Editor, Michael Hutchison

Discussed this month: "When Mozart was my age he'd been dead for four years"

Not much to really talk about this month, so I thought I'd whine about getting older.

In case anyone was wondering why I've been discussing such topics as moving on from Fanzing and going pro one way or the other (and yes, I'm sure you've often stopped in the middle of dinner to muse, "What IS up with Michael lately? I'm concerned!"), it's because I'm older but I still feel like a kid. There have been many newspaper articles about everybody of my generation and how we're all overgrown kids, so maybe you're all tired of hearing about this. If not, or if you think there's even a chance that I'll have some brilliant insight that Michelle Malkin hasn't already hit upon, then read on.

I've always suffered from Kane Comparison Syndrome, a rather infamous malady that I just concocted one day. I needed to come up with a phrase to summarize my incessant habit of reminding myself that Orson Welles was 26 when he made the greatest movie ever, Citizen Kane. Twenty. Freaking. Six.

Me, I'm 32 and I don't even consider myself a grown-up yet.

I don't know if this is the way it has always been for every generation. Certainly, when a generation consisted of men who had been breadwinners for a family of six by age 25, I doubt they thought of themselves as just out of their teens. All those 17-year-olds who lied about their age and went off to fight in World War II couldn't have been more than 22 when they got back, but I'll bet not a single one of them returned talking about what they'd do when they grew up.

Maybe it's just because I'm a geek. It's hard to mentally picture yourself as a rugged individual when you are gung-ho for the next Lord of the Rings movie and you can mentally replay the incidental music from "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?". But the jocks don't look any more mature, either.

I wish someone had told me that I was supposed to be something by now. There should be a person who walks up to you when you're about 25 and says, "Okay, that's enough with the jobs that just pay the bills. Now you should really go for what you want to do this year, this month, right now."

Maybe it's just that Jonah Goldberg is exactly like me. He's my age, he's out of shape, he just got married and bought his first house, and he likes The Simpsons and Star Trek. Oh, and he's the Editor of National Review Online and a syndicated columnist. That could be me! could be me if my mom was Lucianne Goldberg.

Does anyone else feel like this? Or is this totally alien to you all? You can weigh in on the Fanzing Forum.

is Editor-In-Chief of He is the world's biggest Elongated Man fan and runs the only EM fan site. He lives in Rochester, MN.
AIM: Fanzinger
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