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THE DAILY PLANET
50 cents March, 1999
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SPIES UNLIKE US?
Washington, DC -
Three years ago, a wave of paranoia inspired by the presence of shape-changing Durlans in the Alien Alliance lead by the Dominators was decried as unfounded. Recent revealations seem to indicate, though, that these suspicions were not entirely unfounded.
While there is a great deal of official denial, highly-placed sources within the Department of Extranormal Operations say that an infiltration of shape-changers has directors worried. While not naming Durlans explicitly, these sources tell us that there is at least one agent who has been revealed as a shape-changing alien. According to these sources, this alien managed to get himself in a high enough position to be partnered with agent Cameron Chase, one of the Department's top operatives.
Little is known of the extent of the problem. The first indication that aliens in human form are attempting to wield influence on Earth came four years ago, during the little-publicized Manhunter crisis. According to the Justice League, the Manhunters are a race of robots who had their sights set on Earth conquest for centuries, and who, while not true shape-changers, were masters of disguise. Complicating the matter is the fact that many of the Manhunter agents were actually true humans
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who were genuinely supportive of the robots' cause, although the Justice League claims to have established that the human members of the group were never allowed into the upper echelons, and that all decisions were made by the robots.
(It should be noted that all super-heroes who have taken the name Manhunter are believed to have been true humans and to either have been unwitting dupes of or completely unconnected to the robots.)
This was the beginning of official concern over the problem, although public knowledge of the danger only spread after the Durlan invasion. The Durlans had apparenly not infiltrated the United States government to any significant degree, but they did almost manage to conquer Cuba, which would present danger to the U. S. as well. In addition, there was some degree of infiltration in U. S. private industry, the best-publicized case being that of the Hutchings Institute in Utah.
The DEO has denied that aliens are a problem, and has demonstrated certain forms of identification technology that can be used to prevent such potential intrusion, and that it has been programmed to detect the DNA codes of a number of shape-changing races, including Durlans. However, our sources say that there has been at least one who slipped through the cracks, which could indicate an newly-discovered race of shape-changers or perhaps a metahuman with shape-changing abilities.
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Where Have all the Cowboys Gone?
Historian reports intriguing findings
Denver -Researcher Robert Tane has completed a report on heroes of the previous century, and has discovered that they shared a mysterious propensity for disappearing without a trace.
With the recent rise in interest regarding heroes of the post-Civil War American frontier, Tane, who claims that his great-great-grandfather was the well-known hero Johnny Thunder, has intensified his research into the truth behind legends that are mainly preserved in pulp stories and early 1950's TV shows. Once the subject of incredibly popular fiction, most of these obscure heroes are in fact real, but little is known of what happened to them.
The main reason for the increase in interest is the recent discovery of an adventure of Bartholomew "Bat" Lash in archives kept by the immortal villain Vandal Savage. Savage, who was soundly defeated by a group of super-heroes following the Montevideo disaster, was not captured, but his headquarters were traced, and one volume of his memoirs were found there. (It is strongly believed that Savage has other bases around the world, and that it is likely that he has kept other memoirs.) In it, Savage describes a conflict with Lash which took place in the 1920's, which is the latest known public appearance of the well-known gambler and rogue.
Most of the heroes of the old west faded into the background after the heyday of their careers. Jonah Hex disappeared without a trace (although a corpse believed to be his had been reported seen by a number of people in the past). Cinnamon, a red-haired Annie Oakley, had not been seen since 1890. Some speculate that she got married, but most contemporary reports indicate that her personality was unsuited for the male-dominated sort of marriage that prevailed at the turn of the last century. Hannibal Hawkes, also known as Nighthawk, disappeared without a trace, and though he was widely believed to be dead, no one was able to offer a specific reason for this belief. Recent discoveries, however, suggest that he may have been killed in a shootout.
One of the more mysterious events is the recent appearance of the criminal team Trigger Twins in Gotham City. They bear a striking resemblance to a pair of heroes by that name, whose ends are also untraceable, but it is believed they are contemporary imitators and no concrete connection has been established.
Dr. Tane says that his ancestor retired to become a full-time teacher and that he died in the influenza epidemic of 1919. The only other well-known Western hero whose fate is definitively established is Brian Savage, a.k.a. Scalphunter, who became the sheriff of Opal City and was killed in the line of duty.
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JLA Disbands,
Thus Defeats Villain
Miami, FL -A bizarre victory occurred for the Justice League. Amazo, their long-time robotic foe, was discovered to be sensitive to changes in the League's membership and through the quick thinking of the Atom (confirmed to have become a part-time member), was stopped by simply declaring the League disbanded. Full story on page 7.
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TODAY IN
THE DAILY PLANET:
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NATION: General Eiling's disappearance blamed on health problems.
WORLD: Global Guardians vs. International Ultramarine Corps: a comparison.
POLITICS: Time Traveler Rip Hunter may be asked to verify Juanita Broaderick's charge that Bill Clinton raped her in 1978.
BUSINESS Gotham City Stock Exchange members sinking despite merger with Metropolis SE.
ARTS Villains' sensitive souls: art from Belle Reve.
ENTERTAINMENT "Mystery Science Theater 3000" canceled; may do "Blue Devil" as last experiment.
LIFESTYLE Eating out more popular than home cooking amongst alien parasites.
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All characters are © DC Comics
All scanned artwork is © DC Comics.
This column is © 1999 by Chaim Keller (with Michael Hutchison).
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