When
a raging fight between Superman and Brainiac knocks down the United Nations
building
.when Batman's brought up on child endangerment charges
when Wonder
Woman misplaces her lasso at a jewelry show
when Lobo shows up on Earth and
does pretty much anything
you read about it in the "DCU DIGEST"!
50 cents December, 1999
All
the news that's fit to print and then pulp a mere 24 hours later.
Old vs. Young Justice |
Washington, DC -
A group of former super-hero sidekicks has announced in Congress
their opposition to the operation of the super-hero group Young
Justice.
The group, calling itself Old Justice, consists of super-heroes
who operated from the onset of World War II until 1951, when
super-heroic activity was squelched by the congressional Un-American
Affairs Committee. These young (with one exception) sidekicks
have testified before Congress that super-heroic activity
at a young age can cause psychological damage over and above
the obvious physical danger of battling super-villains.
Sponsoring the group's appearance in Congress was Senator
Neptune Perkins, himself a former super-hero, and a member
of the All-Star Squadron subgroup known as Young All-Stars.
Perkins, who was not the sidekick of any older super-hero,
declined to endorse Old Justice's agenda, instead issuing
a statement that he has not made up his mind on the issue,
but gave the group a voice as a favor to his former teammate,
Daniel Dunbar, once known as Dan the Dyna-Mite.
Dunbar was the sidekick of TNT, a mystery man who died in
1943 and was posthumously awarded the Congressional Medal
of Honor by President Roosevelt. He spoke to Congress of the
pain that an adolescent experiences when witnessing the death
or injury of a beloved mentor. Also speaking to that particular
concern were two men who identified themselves as the Cyclones,
formerly "the Cyclone Kids", sidekicks to the little-known
wartime Red Tornado. The Tornado, since revealed to the world
as Mathilda Hunkel, was viciously attacked by an admirer after
her retirement from super-heroism.
Other members of the group include "Sweep" Seconds, one
of a group of Hourman sidekicks, Merry, Girl of 1000 Gimmicks,
who was previously believed dead, and Doiby Dickles, who was
already an adult when he acted as sidekick to Green Lantern.
Comments from the super-hero world were not supportive of the
group. Sanderson Hawkins of the newly-re-formed Justice Society
of America,
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formerly Sandy the Golden Boy
and now known simply as Sand, said, "Working with Wesley [Dodds,
the late original Sandman] was an experience I would not have
traded for anything. It was instructive in the potentials of
human kindness and achievement. I've certainly suffered for
my role as a super-hero, but I do not for a minute regret being
placed in a position where I could save people's lives on a
regular basis."
Sand added, "If I truly believed that teenaged super-heroism
is harmful, I and the rest of the JSA would not have allowed
the new Star-Spangled Kid to join our team."
Roy Harper (formerly Green Arrow's sidekick Speedy, now
Arsenal), speaking for the Titans, was a little more mixed,
but confirmed the super-heroic community's support for allowing
youngsters to operate amongst them. "Adult super-heroes feel
responsibility for every living being, and especially for
their own sidekicks," he said. "We of the Titans consider
ourselves lucky to have had such role models, who dedicated
themselves to serving humanity with such complete selflessness."
When asked about his experiences with Green Arrow's abandonment
of him which had led him to seek comfort from illegal drugs,
he said, "Super-heroes make mistakes like ordinary people
do. You find me any group of one hundred non-super-heroic
parents without one that's messed up his child's life, and
then I'll consider that my situation is indicative of the
problems facing young super-heroes."
The Justice League, who sanctioned the Young Justice group,
could not be reached for comment. All attempts to contact
the Watchtower in the last two days have failed, presumably
due to conflicts of their own.
Most members of Congress have yet to declare how they intend
to vote on the issue of allowing teenage super-heroism. More
pressing on their agenda is the issue of Gotham City, which
might be re-annexed into the United States after a year of
being a No-Man's Land.
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Super-Villains Beware
Keystone City - Police in Keystone
and Central Cities have announced that there appears to be a
serial assaulter on the loose, attacking super-villains, especially
those who have fought the Flash.
The assailant, whose true identity is unknown, has left
no fingerprints and few clues. He or she appears to tke an
interest in the villains' weapons, and indeed, has only attacked
villains whose powers are based on devices and are not innate.
However, the assailant does not actually steal the weapons,
rather, he picks them up briefly to examine them and then
discards them. Investigators are considering the possibility
that the assailant is able to replicate the weapons in his
mind for later assembly and use.
The first villain apparently attacked had been Captain Boomerang.
Others who have been attacked and their weapons handled include
Black Rock, Mirror Master, Matter Master, Weather Wizard,
Doctor Alchemy and Captain Cold.
Police say that the Flash has been alerted to the possibility
that a villain replicating the abilities of all these and
more might be gunning for him. Flash, according to them, had
responded with an offer to routinely patrol well-known super-villain
hideouts to be on the lookout for more violence.
Flash, despite the fact that he seems less friendly than
the vanished Wally West, has maintained an excellent relationship
with Keystone City's and Central City's police departments.
He is rumored to be involved in a romantic relationship with
a forensic scientist working for the Central City Police.
Despite this, little more has been learned about this mysterious
stranger who appeared suddenly following West's disappearance.
Former villains who live in the area have been notified
to beware of the assailant as well. He has been described
as apparently male, over 6 1/2 feet tall, always wearing a
trenchcoat and hat, with no other distinguishing features.
Anyone who sees this individual should consider him extremely
dangerous and immediately notify their local police department.
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Local Family saved by Hawaiian Hero
Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, HI -
A local family had their lives saved by the stretchable new
Hawaiian hero Kana. The Kellers, a family of five, visited
Hawaii last month and, while attempting to get a good look
at the lava flow from Kilauea Volcano, slipped and fell into
a newly-opened crack in the lava-covered Earth. Kana, who
says that Superboy inspired him to use his powers in public,
says he was lucky to have been on the big island of Hawaii
that day.
TODAY IN
DCU DIGEST:D
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NATION:
Government raises concerns about Y2K readiness of DEO
supercomputers
WORLD:
Despite recent increase in peace treaties signed, belligerent
talk mysteriously increases
BUSINESS
Lexcorp could be big winner if Gotham is re-annexed by
the U. S.
SPORTS
Metropolis teams accused of unfairly benefiting from magical
municipal improvements
TELEVISION
New show, "Who Wants to Visit the Moon?", wins November
sweeps
FILM
Can "Toy Story 2" make kids drop their Pokemons? |
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All characters are © DC Comics
All scanned artwork is © DC Comics.
This column is © 1999 by Chaim Mattis Keller.
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