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DCU Digest

When a raging fight between Superman and Brainiac knocks down the United Nations building….when Batman's brought up on child endangerment charges…when Wonder Woman misplaces her lasso at a jewelry show…when Lobo shows up on Earth and does pretty much anything…you read about it in the "DCU DIGEST"!


50 cents                                                                                                                           December, 1999
All the news that's fit to print and then pulp a mere 24 hours later.

Old vs. Young Justice
Washington, DC -   A group of former super-hero sidekicks has announced in Congress their opposition to the operation of the super-hero group Young Justice.

The group, calling itself Old Justice, consists of super-heroes who operated from the onset of World War II until 1951, when super-heroic activity was squelched by the congressional Un-American Affairs Committee. These young (with one exception) sidekicks have testified before Congress that super-heroic activity at a young age can cause psychological damage over and above the obvious physical danger of battling super-villains.

Sponsoring the group's appearance in Congress was Senator Neptune Perkins, himself a former super-hero, and a member of the All-Star Squadron subgroup known as Young All-Stars. Perkins, who was not the sidekick of any older super-hero, declined to endorse Old Justice's agenda, instead issuing a statement that he has not made up his mind on the issue, but gave the group a voice as a favor to his former teammate, Daniel Dunbar, once known as Dan the Dyna-Mite.

Dunbar was the sidekick of TNT, a mystery man who died in 1943 and was posthumously awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor by President Roosevelt. He spoke to Congress of the pain that an adolescent experiences when witnessing the death or injury of a beloved mentor. Also speaking to that particular concern were two men who identified themselves as the Cyclones, formerly "the Cyclone Kids", sidekicks to the little-known wartime Red Tornado. The Tornado, since revealed to the world as Mathilda Hunkel, was viciously attacked by an admirer after her retirement from super-heroism.

Other members of the group include "Sweep" Seconds, one of a group of Hourman sidekicks, Merry, Girl of 1000 Gimmicks, who was previously believed dead, and Doiby Dickles, who was already an adult when he acted as sidekick to Green Lantern.

Comments from the super-hero world were not supportive of the group. Sanderson Hawkins of the newly-re-formed Justice Society of America,

formerly Sandy the Golden Boy and now known simply as Sand, said, "Working with Wesley [Dodds, the late original Sandman] was an experience I would not have traded for anything. It was instructive in the potentials of human kindness and achievement. I've certainly suffered for my role as a super-hero, but I do not for a minute regret being placed in a position where I could save people's lives on a regular basis."

Sand added, "If I truly believed that teenaged super-heroism is harmful, I and the rest of the JSA would not have allowed the new Star-Spangled Kid to join our team."

Roy Harper (formerly Green Arrow's sidekick Speedy, now Arsenal), speaking for the Titans, was a little more mixed, but confirmed the super-heroic community's support for allowing youngsters to operate amongst them. "Adult super-heroes feel responsibility for every living being, and especially for their own sidekicks," he said. "We of the Titans consider ourselves lucky to have had such role models, who dedicated themselves to serving humanity with such complete selflessness."

When asked about his experiences with Green Arrow's abandonment of him which had led him to seek comfort from illegal drugs, he said, "Super-heroes make mistakes like ordinary people do. You find me any group of one hundred non-super-heroic parents without one that's messed up his child's life, and then I'll consider that my situation is indicative of the problems facing young super-heroes."

The Justice League, who sanctioned the Young Justice group, could not be reached for comment. All attempts to contact the Watchtower in the last two days have failed, presumably due to conflicts of their own.

Most members of Congress have yet to declare how they intend to vote on the issue of allowing teenage super-heroism. More pressing on their agenda is the issue of Gotham City, which might be re-annexed into the United States after a year of being a No-Man's Land.

 
Super-Villains Beware

Keystone City -   Police in Keystone and Central Cities have announced that there appears to be a serial assaulter on the loose, attacking super-villains, especially those who have fought the Flash.

The assailant, whose true identity is unknown, has left no fingerprints and few clues. He or she appears to tke an interest in the villains' weapons, and indeed, has only attacked villains whose powers are based on devices and are not innate. However, the assailant does not actually steal the weapons, rather, he picks them up briefly to examine them and then discards them. Investigators are considering the possibility that the assailant is able to replicate the weapons in his mind for later assembly and use.

The first villain apparently attacked had been Captain Boomerang. Others who have been attacked and their weapons handled include Black Rock, Mirror Master, Matter Master, Weather Wizard, Doctor Alchemy and Captain Cold.

Police say that the Flash has been alerted to the possibility that a villain replicating the abilities of all these and more might be gunning for him. Flash, according to them, had responded with an offer to routinely patrol well-known super-villain hideouts to be on the lookout for more violence.

Flash, despite the fact that he seems less friendly than the vanished Wally West, has maintained an excellent relationship with Keystone City's and Central City's police departments. He is rumored to be involved in a romantic relationship with a forensic scientist working for the Central City Police. Despite this, little more has been learned about this mysterious stranger who appeared suddenly following West's disappearance.

Former villains who live in the area have been notified to beware of the assailant as well. He has been described as apparently male, over 6 1/2 feet tall, always wearing a trenchcoat and hat, with no other distinguishing features. Anyone who sees this individual should consider him extremely dangerous and immediately notify their local police department.  

Local Family saved by Hawaiian Hero

Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, HI - A local family had their lives saved by the stretchable new Hawaiian hero Kana. The Kellers, a family of five, visited Hawaii last month and, while attempting to get a good look at the lava flow from Kilauea Volcano, slipped and fell into a newly-opened crack in the lava-covered Earth. Kana, who says that Superboy inspired him to use his powers in public, says he was lucky to have been on the big island of Hawaii that day.  

TODAY IN
DCU DIGEST:
D

NATION:
Government raises concerns about Y2K readiness of DEO supercomputers
WORLD:
Despite recent increase in peace treaties signed, belligerent talk mysteriously increases
BUSINESS
Lexcorp could be big winner if Gotham is re-annexed by the U. S.
SPORTS
Metropolis teams accused of unfairly benefiting from magical municipal improvements
TELEVISION
New show, "Who Wants to Visit the Moon?", wins November sweeps
FILM
Can "Toy Story 2" make kids drop their Pokemons?

All characters are © DC Comics
All scanned artwork is © DC Comics.
This column is © 1999 by Chaim Mattis Keller.

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